Being Mary
Mary Johnson Van Den Berge is a "wear your heart on your sleeve" kind of woman, an unapologetic bookworm, and an online shopping champion. She devours murder mysteries in every form — whether in books or podcasts — with an enthusiasm that surprises even herself. Raised on a farm near St. Marys in Southwestern Ontario, she now calls Petrolia home, nestled in Ontario’s scenic “banana belt.”
Mary is a proud advocate for women’s rights and believes deeply in the power of honest conversation. On her podcast, she creates a safe and open space for women to explore the emotional layers of life—through candid conversations about relationships, identity, healing, motherhood, and more. It’s not just her story anymore—it’s all of ours.
Being Mary
Retirement Dilemma
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Retirement.
Such a simple word for such a life-changing decision.
This week on Being Mary, I’m talking about the emotions, fears, possibilities, and questions that often come with this next chapter of life.
Because retirement isn’t just about finances…
it’s also about identity, purpose, meaning, and asking yourself:
“What kind of life do I want now?”
If you’re approaching retirement — or know someone who is — this conversation is for you. 💛
🎙️ New episode: The Retirement Dilemma
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Hi… I’m Mary.
And this is Being Mary — where we talk about growing older, staying curious, and living fully in the chapter we’re in.
Today, I want to talk about something a lot of people in their 60s are quietly thinking about…
Retirement.
Or maybe I should say…
the retirement dilemma.
Because retirement sounds exciting when you’re younger.
No alarm clocks.
No deadlines.
No rushing around.
But when the time actually comes?
It can feel a little overwhelming.
And honestly…
a little scary.
(pause)
How do you know when it’s the right time?
Should you retire at 60?
65?
70?
Do you keep working because you want to…
or because you feel like you have to?
And sometimes there’s pressure coming from all directions.
Friends asking,
“So… when are you retiring?”
Family members saying,
“You’ve worked long enough.”
But here’s the thing.
Nobody else gets to make this decision for you.
This is your life.
Your future.
Your transition.
And it’s a big one.
(pause)
Most people have worked for over 40 or 50 years by this stage of life.
Think about that.
For decades…
your days had structure.
Routine.
Responsibility.
A reason to get up every morning.
And suddenly you’re being asked to imagine life without that.
That’s not a small adjustment.
That’s an identity shift.
(pause)
Of course finances matter.
Can you afford retirement?
Will your income support the lifestyle you want?
What happens if health issues come along later?
These are real and important questions.
And retirement can also be a good time to make sure practical things are in order —
your Will,
your Power of Attorney,
your future plans,
even whether your current home still makes sense for the next chapter of your life.
Do you stay where you are?
Do you downsize?
Move closer to family?
Or maybe create a simpler life altogether?
There’s a lot to think about.
But retirement isn’t only financial.
It’s emotional too.
(pause)
Sometimes retirement makes you stop and really look at yourself in the mirror.
Who am I without the job?
What do I actually enjoy?
What gives me meaning now?
Am I still needed?
Still useful?
Still capable of beginning something new?
Those are vulnerable questions.
But they’re honest ones.
(pause)
And maybe retirement isn’t about slowing down completely.
Maybe it’s about redirecting your energy.
Some people discover hobbies they never had time for.
Some travel.
Some spend more time with grandchildren.
Some volunteer for causes close to their heart.
Some work part-time because they still enjoy contributing.
And some people finally get to know themselves outside of their career title.
I recently came across something called The 5 Ps of Retirement —
and I really liked it because it talks about retirement beyond just money.
The first is Purpose —
What gives you a reason to get up in the morning?
Then there’s Passion —
What lights you up?
What have you always wanted to try?
People —
because work often gave us daily social connection, and retirement can feel isolating if we’re not careful.
Place —
where do you want to live in this next chapter?
And finally…
Possibilities.
I love that one.
Because retirement doesn’t have to mean the end of something.
Maybe it’s the beginning of something.
(pause)
And here’s something important to remember…
You do not have to rush this decision.
You can ease into retirement.
Semi-retire.
Try working less hours.
Experiment with a new routine.
And even if you fully retire…
you can still change your mind later.
Nothing says you can’t work part-time.
Volunteer.
Start something new.
We are allowed to evolve.
(pause)
I think one of the biggest fears people have about retirement is losing relevance.
But your value was never tied only to a paycheck.
Your wisdom matters.
Your experience matters.
Your presence matters.
And maybe this chapter isn’t about proving yourself anymore.
Maybe it’s about finally asking yourself…
“What kind of life do I want now?”
(pause)
Retirement isn’t the end of living.
If anything…
it can be the beginning of living more intentionally.
And no matter what age you are…
you are never too old to begin again.
Never too old to discover something new about yourself.
And never too old to write another meaningful chapter of your life.
This is Being Mary…
and the best chapters are still ahead.