Strength & Softness

We often think the meaning behind something has to be there from the very beginning.

Sometimes... it isn't.

Sometimes life gives it meaning later.

Years ago, I chose a tattoo simply because I liked cats. There wasn't a profound reason behind it.

After refreshing it a few weeks ago, something unexpected happened.

For the first time, I understood what it really represented.

Strength.

Softness.

And the beautiful balance between the two.

This week's episode is about much more than a tattoo. It's about how life slowly shapes us into the people we're becoming.

I hope you'll take a few minutes to listen.

❤️ Mary

Transcript

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Strength and Softness

Hi… I'm Mary.

And this is Being Mary — 

where we talk about growing older, staying curious,

 and living fully in the chapter we're in.

Today, I have a confession to make.

A few weeks ago I spent four and a half hours having my back tattoo refreshed.

Four and a half hours.

By the end of it, I decided that if I was ever being tortured by a rival country… 

I would have spilled all the national secrets!

I told a friend afterwards, "I'm never doing that again."

She looked at me and said, "But Mary… you've already done it once before."

Apparently… I'm a slow learner.

Now, the funny part is that people often ask me about my tattoo.

Here’s a picture of the before ….

(insert photo)

"Why did you choose it?"

When I first had it done years ago, it wasn't some deep, meaningful decision.

I simply wanted to cover up a couple of old tattoos that no longer felt like me.

I told the tattoo artist, "I like cats. Just make me a cat… but not a silly one. And add some flowers around it."

That was the extent of my planning.

People would ask what it meant, and I'd honestly say, "I don't know. I just like cats."

Some people told me the eyes looked like they were watching them.

Maybe there was a hidden meaning.

Maybe there wasn't.

I never really thought much about it.

Then, years later, my new tattoo artist, Jay, looked at it and said, "Let's make this cat stronger."

So together, we transformed it into a panther.

And that's when something clicked.

As I looked at the finished tattoo, I realized it wasn't just a cat surrounded by flowers anymore.

It was strength…

surrounded by softness.

A panther with flowers.

And somehow, that felt like me.

Life has asked me to be strong more times than I ever imagined.

Losing my husband Casey.

Walking beside my daughter through addiction and recovery.

Writing my memoir.

Supporting all my children’s emotional needs alone.

Starting this podcast.

Trying new things like pickleball and hiking, even when I wondered if I was too old to start.

Strength has been necessary.

But I never wanted that strength to harden me.

I still want to notice beautiful sunsets.

I still cry over old memories.

I still laugh at myself.

I still stop by the water just because it fills my heart.

Maybe that's what growing older has taught me.

Strength and softness aren't opposites.

They're partners.

The strongest people I know are often the gentlest.

Check out the finished tattoo

(Insert after picture)

And sometimes…

the meaning behind something doesn't appear the day we choose it.

Sometimes it grows with us.

Just like this tattoo did.

The pain is gone now.

And it’s healed.

And every time I see it, I'll be reminded that strength doesn't have to look fierce all the time.

Sometimes strength is simply continuing to love… to laugh… and to keep becoming who we're meant to be.

Although…

Just so we're clear…

If I ever decide I need another tattoo…

It won't be on my back!

This is Being Mary…

…and the best chapters are still ahead.